after holding for this long..in the end..he lefted us..
in the brand new morning of 23rd nov..the 1st news dat i get is..my grandfather passed away..
first reaction sure, hurr?!? y suddenly passed away.?!
yesterday my uncle went to visit him at the health care home( he is staying there coz he's sick,its hardly for us to take care him,n there got doctor vif nurse,more professional), he still ok..n everytime my mom went to visit him..he's still fine..but this morning. . . .
mayb we already hv the preparation dat he will leave us anytime..coz he is already 82 years old n ill..therefore,no one cry wen we hear this news..
early in the morning..all the uncles n aunties gather at my house..the sons n daughters of my garandfather..do some discussion bout everythings..
after tat..we went to xiao en unit..at taman midah there..where we put my grandfather body for a few days to let all our relatives to meet him for the last time..
b4 v went there..everyone still look fine..not crying..sad of coz..n i keep asking myself not to cry..n i really din cry..not bcoz i'm really tat bad..but..he already passed away..it's reality..no matter how hard v cry..it will still de same..
but in the moment i reached there..i walked toward his coffin..i saw him sleeping peacefully in there..he looks really thin..coz last time due to sickness,getting thinner n thinner.. at tat moment..really cant expect..i nearly shed tears..he looks so pity..sleeping in the coffin..n he have left us forever..nearly shed tears but i hold back..but i saw my aunties dat is not crying b4 this,shed tears..
mayb v din expect tat..but wen the moment v look at him..some kind of feeling comes to us..kinda...haiz..dunno how to express those kind of feeling..but i guess everyone saw tat also will hv the same feeling.. the sudden feeling..like wanna cry..
few more days..he will get bury..at the nilai memorial park..everyones,all my relatives,cousin sisters n brothers,my family members n etc..will accompany him until the last moment b4 he get buried.. EXCEPT ME...
no matter wen is the funeral..tuesday or wednesday..i still cant make it..i got exams..how am i gonna attend it?! i cant skip this exams.. altot the dont blame me..but i feel bad..
as all my relatives noe..as my mom keep saying..i'm the only one grandchilden dat he loved the most since young..since i'm small..since i'm a kid..he loved me the most compared with all my cousins n my own sister..but yet..i'm the only ONE dat cant accompany him till the last moment b4 he get burried..
wut to do..?! my mummy n others said is faith..dat he most beloved grandchildren cant sent him for the last time..
but no matter how..its reality..dat cant be change..hv to accept it..
at last he rest peacefully n has left us forever...
may all the illness n anxiety far away to u..may peace be with u..
24 nov 2008