three more papers to go..!!~

hmm..last day of november lo..

without realising..the year has come to the end..

seriously..dunno y..i feel dat this time really passed so fast..

n yea..still got three more papers to go.. pengajian am 1 , pengajian perniagaan 2 n makroekonomi..

after this..freedom is upon me..!!~

really the end of my high school life..no more school uniform..no more school rulez..n bla bla bla..~

the another path of my life..!!! i'm coming..!!!~~~

getting older n older..huhuhu..stepping in the 20th..

challenges..here i come..!!!~

btw..love my high school life..enjoyed it very very much..

love ya..

-wk-
30th nov 2008
0255 a.m

all about examz..

haizZz..

badly done in examz..

no mood to study..

no time to study..

no concentration to study..

in the end..

badly done..

=(

23rd nov 2008

after holding for this long..in the end..he lefted us..

in the brand new morning of 23rd nov..the 1st news dat i get is..my grandfather passed away..

first reaction sure, hurr?!? y suddenly passed away.?!

yesterday my uncle went to visit him at the health care home( he is staying there coz he's sick,its hardly for us to take care him,n there got doctor vif nurse,more professional), he still ok..n everytime my mom went to visit him..he's still fine..but this morning. . . .

mayb we already hv the preparation dat he will leave us anytime..coz he is already 82 years old n ill..therefore,no one cry wen we hear this news..

early in the morning..all the uncles n aunties gather at my house..the sons n daughters of my garandfather..do some discussion bout everythings..

after tat..we went to xiao en unit..at taman midah there..where we put my grandfather body for a few days to let all our relatives to meet him for the last time..

b4 v went there..everyone still look fine..not crying..sad of coz..n i keep asking myself not to cry..n i really din cry..not bcoz i'm really tat bad..but..he already passed away..it's reality..no matter how hard v cry..it will still de same..

but in the moment i reached there..i walked toward his coffin..i saw him sleeping peacefully in there..he looks really thin..coz last time due to sickness,getting thinner n thinner.. at tat moment..really cant expect..i nearly shed tears..he looks so pity..sleeping in the coffin..n he have left us forever..nearly shed tears but i hold back..but i saw my aunties dat is not crying b4 this,shed tears..

mayb v din expect tat..but wen the moment v look at him..some kind of feeling comes to us..kinda...haiz..dunno how to express those kind of feeling..but i guess everyone saw tat also will hv the same feeling.. the sudden feeling..like wanna cry..

few more days..he will get bury..at the nilai memorial park..everyones,all my relatives,cousin sisters n brothers,my family members n etc..will accompany him until the last moment b4 he get buried.. EXCEPT ME...

no matter wen is the funeral..tuesday or wednesday..i still cant make it..i got exams..how am i gonna attend it?! i cant skip this exams.. altot the dont blame me..but i feel bad..

as all my relatives noe..as my mom keep saying..i'm the only one grandchilden dat he loved the most since young..since i'm small..since i'm a kid..he loved me the most compared with all my cousins n my own sister..but yet..i'm the only ONE dat cant accompany him till the last moment b4 he get burried..

wut to do..?! my mummy n others said is faith..dat he most beloved grandchildren cant sent him for the last time..

i....

but no matter how..its reality..dat cant be change..hv to accept it..

at last he rest peacefully n has left us forever...

may all the illness n anxiety far away to u..may peace be with u..

goodbyez...

-wk-
24 nov 2008
04:00 am

hahaha..!!~

tomorrow is my first test for my STPM..

but guess wut i am thinking?!

about study?!

no no no..!!!~

haha..

in my mind..all is full with HIM..!!~ aaron yan ya lun.. haha..!!

he's so so so so handsome, cute, charm n many many more..haha..

awww..i act like little gals la..still chasing for stars..but..hu care?! haha.. love him..!!

gosh..i just cant wait to go to his concert..!!!

feel so happy n 'xing fu'..altot just looking at his pic..!!

haha..ignore me..i'm crazy..crazy for him..!! ^^

view his blog..!!~

www.wretch.cc/blog/arronbubest

^^

. . . . . .

17th nov 2008..its almost 6 am in de morning..

one more day to go for my stpm begin..

didnt sleep for de whole night..

guess wut am i doing?!

studying?!

NO..!!!!!!

i'm playing games all de night..till now..still playing....

wasting all de very very precious time to study..ends up playing game all night long...

wk really terrible....

haizzz...

speechless izzit!?!?!

me either..........

HELP..!!!

3 more days to go..

.:: STPM ::.

haiz....really feel myself very terrible..i have no mood to study at all..everyday just wasting time doing nothing..stpm is here..but yet...

really dunno wut happen to me..pls give me some spirit to study..!! i need help..!!

i'm lost..

i dunno where should i start my revision..i have no target..i have no motive..haiz...really dunno how to express..

sometimes wen ppl sms me saying tat i can score very well in exams..but..i noe myself..i din study..how am i gonna do well in examz?! the more u all say like this..the more i feel i'm useless..

this moment..everyone sure studying very very hard..except me..the results is..the will score very well except me..i really really hope dat i can study like them also..but i cant..i feel so suffering..haiz..i noe i cant do it.....

pls dont put high hope on me..i will just disappoint everyone....haha..wut am i saying about..no one will put hope on me..no one will carez me either..

arh..!!

haiz..till when i can stop behaving like this?!

i need help...............!!!

i miss u all..!!!!!!!!!

07-11-2008

hmm..this is really the last day for us lo..the upper sixers n form 5 de..v started our 'holiday' formally until the SPM n STPM day arrive..

really last day for us to meet those others form de student liao..hurrrrr...so0o0o sad...

seriously i really very very sad n just feel like dont wanna leave them..dont wanna leave cochrane..i miss jwolin,francken,vuan zhin,fiona n many many more..haha..

today i really feel like crying..my tears almost fall down but luckily no one saw it..haha..coz kinda sad..dunno y..i just feel like being throw behind by others..they just left like tat..

i really dont like the feeling of being left behind without realising my appearance there..

i'm just like all alone... =(

today after school..wen i just being left behind..i saw jwolin..haha..luckily she din saw my tears..haha..i wipe it away ady..i tot wanna say goodbyez to her n walk to jj all alone.. she is waiting for mark, hon sim n yenchin to have their lunch together..n i accom her to wait for them awhile but at last ends up with me,jwo n yc having lunch together in kim gary..its fun especially with the super lame person,ee yen chin..haha..

after dat..yc leave first due to he is having tuition at 2:40..after paying the bills..me n jwo continue walking n chit-chating around in jj..still de same..we hv endless topic to talk..haha..we stay at mph n sit there n keep talking n talking..without realising..until it's almost 6pm..haha.. btw..jwo..u cried easily..scared me eh..haha..

hmm...

actually...i love cochrane eh..i enjoyed my school life in cochrane very much..having them as my frenz lighten up my life alotz...i miss u miss u n miss u all..my frenz..my class mate..n everyone..very very much..

i miss my class..every corner full with my memories..every notice board dat i hv staying back late to complete it as a head of notice board..the class time table..the pelan kedudukan..the misi n visi class..the one with everyone bday stated down on dat special corner..the mail-box..every table dat i wrapped it up nicely with present papers..

most important is the two years memories with all my class mates in de class..i miss it..

n outside de class room..i miss de day jwo n francken come n find me..chating so happy behind there until they missed three period for ponteng class chat with me..haha..sorry..!~

i miss my eb room dat i used to stay there for most of the time to do my duties..the bilik koperasi dat i used to duty on every tuesday n friday..the ubk room tat i used to lepak m ponteng class chit chating with nuriyah,amirul,johari,anis n my counselling teachers..

alotz of fun i have in cochrane..

thx everyone for giving me such a nice memories for this long..

still the same..n most important..i miss u the most..! francken n jwolin.. haha..my beloved brother n sister..!!

all the very best for u all..n forget me not..!!~

love =)

-waikuen-